Nerds: Why we need more of them
<span>How would you describe a nerd? Thick glasses? Socially awkward? A math whiz?</span>
<span>Chances are you never wanted to be one and you probably don't want your child being called one either. </span>
<span>In his new book, "Nerds: Who they are and why we need more of them," David Anderegg, Ph.D., says the term nerd is not just a harmless stereotype. </span>
<span>Instead, he reveals that fear of social rejection leads children to alter their behavior and the world is being deprived of individuals who could make valuable contributions in the area of technology, science, math and more. Parents and Kids had an opportunity to speak with the author for insight into this dangerous stereotype. </span>
P&K: It's in the title of your book, but you don't really like the term "nerd." How come?
Anderegg: It's a complicated and extremely pejorative stereotype for kids. Kids aren't born knowing what a "nerd" is; they have to learn it. And the first thing they learn is that it is a bad thing to be. Older kids, like in college, might now say being "nerdy" is hip, but that's not true for middle school kids. Middle school kids know that being a "nerd" is social death. So then they make all kinds of bad decisions trying to avoid the label. I've seen kids as young as fourth grade tell me they don't want to do well in school so they won't be called a "nerd."
P&K: In your opinion, what would be a better term?
Anderegg: Do we need a term like this at all? I don't really like stereotypes at all, because they take all the interesting complications of human beings and reduce them to one dimension. For the record, I don't like the term "jock" any more than I like the term "nerd."
P&K: How should parents talk to their kids about stereotypes like this one?
Anderegg: First, don't use the term. I hear way too many parents do the following: When their kid is upset because he or she has been called a "nerd." They say, "Oh, honey, nerds really are creepy but YOU'RE not a nerd." They are happy to maintain the stereotype but pass it along to someone else. Instead, parents could say, "There's no such thing as a nerd. A 'nerd' is a label people use when they're too lazy to describe someone in detail." Or, "Kids use that word when they envy someone else's accomplishments."
P&K: You start the book with an interesting analogy on what aliens would surmise of our planet if they watched "Beauty and the Geek." It isn't good, is it?
Anderegg: Shows like "Beauty and the Geek" would teach aliens (and do teach our children) that people come in two flavors: beautiful and dumb, or smart and creepy. This is, first of all, not true: Psychology research has shown for a hundred years that intelligence and physical beauty and health spring from the same roots, good genes and good pre- and post-natal health. But kids should not have to make this choice anyway: In a beauty-obsessed culture like ours, they will too often choose to be beautiful and if that means dumbing down, so be it.
P&K: Why does the world need more people like you describe in your book?
Anderegg: First of all, we need more people who are comfortable with technology. In every survey of business leaders that I see, they bemoan the lack of technically trained, math and science-literate high school graduates. We have more and more foreign-born scientists and engineers, because too many American kids disdain science and technology, even though they use it all the time. I know many who get angry with me for saying this, but we really do have enough artists for now; we need a few more environmental scientists. We also need people who feel free to embrace their arcane passions, even if those passions are not universal. I see too many kids who feel they need to apologize for their "secret" passions and hobbies.
P&K: If parents suspect their child to fall into this spectrum of being an intelligent, passionate and a little socially awkward, what can they do to ensure that their child becomes a confident member of society?
Anderegg: Confidence is highly overrated, as we know. Recent research on "confident," self-loving kids shows that they can sometimes be quite mediocre and still feel "confident." I think the best thing a parent of a nerd-labeled kid can do is to find other kids who share their child's interests: Find a chess club, or a music camp, or a computer camp -- summer camp is great for these purposes -- so kids know there are lots of other people like them in the world, even if they're not valued in middle school. Most nerd-labeled kids end up having nerd-labeled friends, and then they feel just fine.
P&K: You have ties to Boston. After graduation, you actually served as a pianist for the Cambridge School of Ballet among others. Do you think the Boston area is a great place to be an intellect?
Anderegg: Boston is a great place, period. If there is any city in the U.S. which values inner depth over outward appearance, Boston is it, thanks to our Puritan heritage. Boston ain't Miami…thank God.