The four stages of Valentine's Day, from someone who's been through them all

You don't get to the lofty age of 36 without noticing a few patterns in life.

One pattern that's been on my mind has to do with Valentine's Day, and how it has changed for me as the years have gone by. So, without further ado, here are the four stages of Valentine's Day.

1. Candy! Candy! Candy!

As a youngster, I knew this holiday was supposed to be about sappy stuff like love, but I secretly believed that was a code word for candy. Smarties, candy hearts, red-wrapped chocolates -- it was like Halloween in February, complete with the party at school. Good times.

2. The Melissa Etheridge Years

Then, adolescence set in and what mattered was whether or not you had a "someone" to give you candy on Feb. 14 - which was fine, for those years that I did. But in the more frequent lean years, with no chocolate-bearing snuggy-muffins in sight, my college buddies and I took to wearing black and playing really loud, angry music. Take that, Saint Valentine!

3. True Love