How to help a friend grieve at the holidays

Here are some tips on how to help a friend who's grieving over the holidays, from bereavement counselor Linda Clark of Hospice and Palliative Care Inc. in New Hartford:

-- Don't give open-ended offers of help. Grieving people don't usually ask for help because they're not sure what they need.

-- Offer a specific kind of help, such as helping to make pies, bringing in |dinner, helping with the cleaning, going to the |cemetery together or taking the person holiday shopping.

-- Give specific invitations, too. Invite the person over for Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, to a holiday concert or to come to church with you. Sometimes going to church without the loved one is particularly difficult.

-- Give an ornament in memory of the person who died.

-- Listen to the person talk about grief and the person who died.