Jeff Vrabel: Not now -- I'm busy communicating

Now this is just ridiculous.

I currently have three e-mail accounts up and running. All of them have the slightly unnerving, droid-like ability to check and update themselves, which is good, because that removes from my day the highly taxing task of clicking "CHECK MAIL" myself every couple of minutes. That may sound like a ridiculous luxury, but the thing is, without the auto-checker, I would absolutely be clicking "CHECK MAIL" every couple of minutes, because I have no attention span to do anything else. I find myself clicking "CHECK MAIL" every three minutes because I've spent 10 years clicking "CHECK MAIL" every three minutes. It's like the circle of life, except with a lot more attention-deficit problems and eye-twitching, and it's literally all I know how to do anymore.