Flawless Farley: Old man Vinny needs an elder to learn from
Fifty-nine-year-old Mike Flynt suited up and played left end on kicking plays, including the gamewinner, for Division 3 Sul Ross State in its 45-42 triple-overtime victory over Texas Lutheran last weekend.
With that, the Carolina Panthers' draft board changed.
On that same weekend, the Panthers gave the signal-calling nod to 43-year-old Vinny Testaverde, who became the oldest starting quarterback to win a game in NFL history when he directed them to a 25-10 win at Arizona that has playoff hopes alive and well in Carolina.
Given that, the Panthers are no doubt interested in Flynt, a grandfather and card-carrying member of AARP who has taken being a college senior to another level.
Flynt would provide a voice of maturity Testaverde could turn to in times of need.
New England 52, Miami 0 - Admittedly, it ain't quite "Spahn and Sain and pray for rain," but how about "Taylor and Traylor surrounded by failure?" Up front, the Dolphins have Jason Taylor and Keith Traylor, with a supporting cast of Steve Fafita, Matt Roth, Paul Solial and Rodrique Wright. Last Sunday, that supporting cast combined to produce the grand total of four tackles in a 41-31 loss to the Browns.
Washington 17, Arizona 14 - The Redskins' running backs include Rock Cartwright. The Cardinals' secondary includes Antrel Rolle. So fans at this game will be treated to some Rock and Rolle this afternoon.
New Orleans 27, Atlanta 7 - You may not have heard this, what with the Red Sox-Indians involved in Game 3 of the ALCS and all, but Jimmy Kimmel brought this to the booth during ESPN's telecast from Atlanta on Monday night: "(The Falcons' Joey) Harrington's not a very good quarterback, but he's very nice to his pets." Kimmel brought one more good line to Monday night's game than Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino did.
Baltimore 12, Buffalo 6 - The Ravens' practice squad includes a guard by the name of Ikechuku Ndukwe. My mistake. I thought those were the words that Joe Namath uttered to ESPN's Suzy Kolber during a sideline interview at the Meadowlands four years ago.
Dallas 33, Minnesota 21 - One day after his team's 48-27 thrashing at the hands of the Patriots, a defiant Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips said he wouldn't have changed his defensive game plan. As Dallas Morning News columnist Tim Cowlishaw wrote: "The Cowboys' approach was to stop Sammy Morris and make Tom Brady beat them." Said Phillips: "You've got to stop the run. You want to make them pass it and then you've got to get turnovers and get pressure." Stop Sammy Morris and make Tom Brady beat you? There is only one rational explanation for Phillips' approach. The son of a "Bum" is a butthead.
New York Giants 31, San Francisco 17 - Many NFL quarterbacks are so strong-armed, they are said to throw lasers. Niners quarterback Trent Dilfer throws tasers. Whenever he hits his intended target, it's absolutely stunning.
Detroit 16, Tampa Bay 13 - Great headline in the St. Petersburg Times on its Florida Gator report, as spotted by the Web site SportsbyBrooks.com: "Gal named female athlete of the week." The story then begins: "UF All-American Sandra Gal was named Female College Player of the Week by Golf World, the publication announced Wednesday."
Oakland 20, Kansas City 17 - Far be it for me to insinuate that the boss of the Raiders isn't as sharp as he used to be, but unreliable sources inform the Flawless one that when told K.C. was coming to town this weekend, Al Davis muttered, "I haven't seen Stengel in years."
Tennessee 21, Houston 19 - Baylor University offensive line-tight ends coach Eric Schnupp was suspended indefinitely Tuesday after an incident in which he was issued a citation at 2:20 in the morning last Sunday for disorderly conduct-reckless exposure at Scruffy Murphy's, a Waco bar frequented by Baylor students. Schnupp is alleged to have urinated on the bar after Baylor returned home from a 58-10 loss at Kansas. Personally, I feel uncomfortable when my doctor tells me to urinate in a bottle during a physical. When my bartender starts telling me to do it at last call, I'm finding myself a new hangout.
Cincinnati 28, New York Jets 14 - Memo to Jets head coach Eric Mangini: If, at some point today, you look across the field and see a camera on the Bengals' sideline, do not be alarmed and do not report this incident to the NFL; the camera will be trained on the Bengals' players, not your coaches, for it is the Fox television crew taping an upcoming episode of "COPS."
Philadelphia 22, Chicago 14 - This prediction is based on rationale so sound it scares me. The Eagles are 9-0 under head coach Andy Reid in games after a bye week. The Eagles played the Jets last week. Same difference. Eagles win.
Seattle 24, St. Louis 6 - According to Lindy's Pro Football 2007 Preview, Rams offensive tackle Alex Barron "should be better than he has played, just has to realize how talented he is." To steal a Three Stooges line, it sounds to me like Alex is … Barron of grey matter.
Pittsburgh 16, Denver 9 - So the Broncos have cut tight end Chad Mustard three times this season, only to bring him back each time. The bottom line? The Broncos simply can't cut the Mustard.
Indianapolis 27, Jacksonville 20 (Monday night) - Former Jaguars offensive tackle Mike Pearson recently returned to the starting lineup of the CFL's Toronto Argonauts after he ignored a cut on his right index finger and infection set in to the point where he faced possible amputation. You've really got to hand it to Pearson. He showed the Argos he was willing to lift a finger.
Last week: 8-5
Season: 54-34
Flawless Farley's NFL picks column appears in The Sunday Enterprise.