Julia Spitz: Hey, kids, let's put on a show

No matter how far astray we go, there's nothing a little choreography can't fix.

``I Don't Dance''? I don't think so. When that's your big number, we know you're going to be the best dancer of all.

Judy and Mickey, Annette and Frankie, Sandy and Danny, Troy and Gabriella.

The names change. The fundamentals don't.

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Singing and dancing ensue. Boy gets girl back and the entire cast joins in for a show-stopping finale.

The formula worked for young teens saving scraps of tinfoil for the war effort in 1942. It works for young teens texting their BFFs, LOL, in 2007. Disney's ``High School Musical 2'' cable TV debut attracted a record-setting 17.2 million viewers on Friday night.

There's something very comforting in that.

We can't really have deteriorated into a nation of self-centered so-and-sos so long as we still value seven magic little words.

Hey, kids, let's put on a show.

We still like to see the snob and/or spoiler who needs a good comeuppance get a dish of just desserts. Maybe it's falling into a pool fully clothed.

Maybe it's having something sloppy take an unexpected spill on a fancy outfit. Either way, the underdogs will triumph in song.

The genre's pretty predictable that way.

So's the dialogue.

``That girl has more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match.''

The line delivered in ``High School Musical 2'' could easily be in ``Strike Up the Band'' or ``How to Stuff a Wild Bikini'' or ``Grease 2.''

Young love will always win in the end, after a few important lessons in loyalty and following your conscience.

Dream big, but don't get too big for your britches.

Be true to your pals and/or your school.

And no matter how dire things look, even a Paris Hilton look- and act-alike can be redeemed by the time balloons and confetti fall.

The formula's as basic and comforting as meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It's ingrained in our collective consciousness. It's a winner generation after generation.

But even Disney can't churn it out fast enough. It could be weeks, maybe even months, before ``High School Musical 3.''

Wait. I've got an idea. Why wait for Hollywood to feed us our next installment? We can make a stage anywhere we want.

Hey, kids, let's put on a show.

At home. At work.

Next time Town Meeting rolls around.

Yeah, that's the ticket. I can just picture it, can't you?

Year after year the school board says schools need more money, and year after year it's a big, bad fight. People get mad, and that's not right.

Forget boring old numbers. Tightwad naysayers just need to hear a really catchy song. Something like ``We've Cut the Fat and Now We're Cutting the Bone.'' Get the front row doing the hand jive and there'll be no need to count hands. Everybody's on the same page when synchronized gestures are part of the plot. Funds for a new firehouse will get a big thumbs up, and hefty town employee insurance bills are no problem so long as everyone's wearing coordinated costumes.

Just let the moderator try to bang a gavel. He'll be taking an unexpected dip in a pool in no time.

City council and selectmen's meetings would attract boffo ratings if minutes had to be set to music before they're approved. By the time the town manager and recording secretary start to limbo, there won't be a dry eye for miles around.

Want the ZBA to see it your way? Put away those useless pie charts and try a chart-topping song instead. Wetland and sign bylaws don't stand a chance once toes start a-tapping to a beat-boxed tune.

And what judge wouldn't rule in your favor when you and your lawyer jump up on the defense table and beg for the court's mercy with an upbeat dance number? Justice may be blind, but no one can miss the unmistakable sound of feet moving in harmony.

We know how it's supposed to go down when the chorus kicks in.

Life becomes as perfect as Walpole Little Leaguer Michael Rando's catch.

Wait. I've got an idea.

That catch. That beautiful catch. Now that would make a great musical.

Boy looks like he's losing ball. Boy gets ball. Singing and dancing ensue.

It's the stuff dreams are made of.

Hey, kids, let's put on a show.

Julia Spitz of The MetroWest Daily News (Framingham, Mass.) can be reached at 508-626-3968 or jspitz@cnc.com. Check metrowestdailynews.com or milforddailynews.com for the Spitz Bitz blog.