Mr. and Mrs. Edwin Harrell of Du Quoin talk about being together for 72 years

Marriage used to be based on need. Now, couples need reasons to stay together.

Then, there's Mr. and Mrs. Edwin Harrell of 208 East Adams Street in Du Quoin. On August 15 the couple celebrated 72 years of marriage.

Let's see, they would have been married in 1942. A postage stamp was 3 cents. The Cardinals beat the Yankees 4-1 in the World Series. Bing Crosby released "White Christmas" and RCA Victor sprayed gold all over Glenn Miller's million-copy seller "Chattanooga Choo Choo" creating the first "gold record."

Once it was simple. You got married, had kids, worked the land, and stayed married whether you could stand each other or not. The concept of "a happy marriage" was no more relevant than the idea of "a pretty tractor."

For Lydia Harrell, 88, how she met her beloved Edwin, 92, and why they married were simple. "He and his friend Tommy Lollis came into my dad's saw shop outside of Pinckneyville. We liked each other. In the meantime, we had moved to town. My dad died in 1941 and my mother had tuberculosis and died in 1942. So, I married my best and really my only friend on August 15, 1942."

Edwin worked construction for many years, helping build the national natural gas pipeline that passes through Pinckneyville and the Pinckneyville Community Hospital. He helped build a mine tipple and later had careers with the My-T-Fine Pudding factory in Pinckneyville and was a security guard for Phelps Dodge. He enjoyed small engine repair.

In any marriage, there are good times. Other times-not so much. Lydia worked for 43 1/2 years in the garment factory and contributed greatly to the financial well-being of the marriage.

That kind of need and dependence has changed over the years. Couples don't need each other for quite as many things as they once did. If you're running a farm with someone, it doesn't matter if you're ticked off at her or not. You need her work as much as she needs yours. The couple is more or less equally dependent on each other.

Chances are, though, if you are reading this, you are not running a farm with your mate. And if you are, you are probably doing it out of choice, not necessity. As marriage with children becomes the exception rather than the norm it is also becoming the self-selected province of the college-educated and the affluent. Marriage in America is becoming more like a luxury car, in other words, a BMW not a Harvester.

"Everyone needs their own space," says Lydia, who crochets beautiful afghans. On Thursday she was busy canning five quarts of tomatoes. Their own skills validate their independence. That is important to a marriage. But, the need for each other is more important. "We never had children. We live Christian lives and have been members of the Old Du Quoin Baptist Church," said Lydia. "I'm a deacon out there," says Edwin.

"We never end the day angry," says Lydia.

In their "for better or worse vows" the worst came last year when Edwin was in the hospital. "We didn't know if we would make it to 72 years," she said. He just got out of the hospital again this week after being treated for pneumonia. She couldn't wait for him to get home. Now, they look forward to their 73rd anniversary--and 75th.

Their Adams Street home of over 30 years is full of life--their lives, the things that sustain them. A tender, REAL caring.

The good news. As people wait to get married, the divorce rate is dropping. But the divorce rate for first marriages is still about 47%.

Having a happy marriage today means thinking of reasons to be together. The Harrells have plenty of reasons. Every day, they count their blessings and let go of the little things. Lessons for all of us. God, grant them favor as their great lives continue.