1860s Movie Critic Jebidiah Atkinson Slams Oscars During Colin Jost's 'Weekend Update' Debut
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;"><img src="http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/53133063ecad04505499abb1-937-468/weekend-update-colonial-2.png" border="0" alt="Weekend Update colonial" />"Saturday Night Live" cast member Taran Killam resumed his harsh, 1860s newspaper critic character "Jebidiah Atkinson" on "Weekend Update," just in time to slam Oscar-nominated films.</span>
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">"I've been witness to every motion picture since the dawn of cinema and I'm not impressed," Atkinson began.</span>
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">Here's his critiques of some of this year's Best Picture nominees:</span>
<ul>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">"Her": "Guess who was bored by this movie? Him! [points to himself] Even the main character spent the whole movie texting."</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">"Dallas Buyer's Club": "Sell! The only thing thinner than Matthew McConaughey is the plot."</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">"Gravity": "If I wanted to watch a depressed middle-ages woman float around for 90 minutes, I'd go to the YMCA pool."</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">And some reviews of older, Oscar-nominated films:</span>
<ul>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em; color: #000000;">"The Godfather": "This film left me thinking one thing: I wish I was that horse."</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em; color: #000000;">"Annie Hall": "I'd rather let Woody Allen watch my kids than watch this movie again."</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em; color: #000000;">"Schindler's List": "You know what wasn't on Schindler's list? An editor."</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 1.5em; color: #000000;">"Forrest Gump": "You know which character in Forrest Gump I envy? Lieutenant Dan's legs. Because they got to leave early."</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #222222; line-height: 1.5em;">Watch the full, funny segment below:</span>
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The show also marked cast member Colin Jost's debut as the new "Weekend Update" co-anchor, alongside Cecily Strong. Jost assumes the role after Seth Meyers left to host "Late Night."
In his debut segment, Jost rifts on everything from Pop Tarts being a symbol of lack of parenting skills to comparing Piers Morgan to a potato. Watch below:
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