Women's Center honors Domestic Violence Awareness Month

SOUTHERN ILLINOIS - Domestic violence is an ongoing problem, but in October there's an extra focus on the issue, says The Women's Center Events and Development Specialist John Pfeifer.

"People grow weary of awareness months, but nonetheless, one thing we try to make people aware of is, this is not an 'out there' problem or a 'somewhere else' problem. And it's not just a Carbondale problem just because the shelter happens to be in Carbondale," Pfeifer said. "Everywhere, this is a problem. Not just in southern Illinois, but around the world."

The Women's Center provides support to victims of domestic violence, who many times are women. Besides the main office in Carbondale, satellite offices are in Marion and Harrisburg.

Domestic violence is an uncomfortable topic, Pfeifer said, and when he delivers talks to area service clubs, his audience sometimes has difficulty understanding how prevalent domestic violence is.

"It's sort of a denial that neighbors could be inflicting pain, physical, emotional or intellectual violence, and could be living a block or two away," he said.

Workers for The Women's Center meet with domestic violence victims and help them seek emergency orders to keep them away from unsafe situations. Orders of protection often are requested on those victims' behalf, and some clients may be placed in a safe shelter, Pfeifer said.

Getting out of an unsafe situation is the most difficult and dangerous for a domestic abuse victim, he said.

"The essence of domestic violence is control. It begins with control of a partner's ability to earn income by themselves or go out by themselves," Pfeifer said. "In extreme situations, when both parties have automobiles, the male will take odometer readings of the car to make sure there's not a variation going to or from work or to the doctor's office. When there's not a lot of financial alternatives, it's difficult for a victim to get away."

Domestic violence occurs across the economic spectrum as well, he said.

"It's not just poor folks who are abused. Domestic violence doesn't have any demographic barriers to it," Pfeifer said.

Once a domestic violence victim decides to leave a situation, their lives likely are in greater jeopardy from their abuser.

"Many of the abusers are males who are violent, and violence was part of their households growing up. If somebody saw this growing up, you would think they would be repulsed by it, but it becomes normalized behavior," he said. "Physical violence in some ways is an Americanized version of independence."

This year has been a difficult one for victims of domestic abuse, Pfeifer said, due to them being quarantined at home with their abusers much more frequently. In addition, because remote learning has been instituted in many places, children who may be abused aren't in front of teachers who otherwise would notice and report signs of abuse.

Pfeifer encourages domestic violence victims or friends, neighbors and co-workers to call The Women's Center if an abusive situation exists.

That toll-free number is (800) 334-2094.

He also said that due to COVID-19 restrictions, fundraising efforts have been difficult. Currently, Pfeifer is operating a capital campaign to raise money for physical repairs at the center's offices.

Anyone wishing to donate may call him at (618) 549-4807 ext. 228.

He also recommended people who may think they or someone they know is in an abusive situation visit The Women's Center's Facebook page.

"During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we have posted on Facebook a YouTube video that depicts what a domestic violence situation might look like," Pfeifer said. "It takes people about five minutes to watch the video, just to get a snippet of what to look for."