Forever friends: Women's group celebrates more than 50 years of friendship

When Sally Catterall of Bartonville attends club meetings three times a year, she knows it won't be to discuss the latest technology.

"We're from the old store," she joked.

The club of seven women recently celebrated its 51st year together with a lunch at the River Station. Just like any other meeting, it included food, new and old photographs and conversation.

Most of the group's interaction is done in person, over the phone or in typed letters. Just two of the women have e-mail accounts, and none would think of sending a text message.

When Joyce Van Pelt of Ashville, Ohio, and Phyllis Carr of Mapleton exchange e-mails, the information then filters out to the rest of the group by traditional mail and word of mouth.

"It's sort of like the Pony Express," said Nadine Bartell of Bartonville.

Their methods might seem antiquated to younger generations, but it's tough to find fault with the end result. The women have remained close friends for nearly six decades, which is almost unheard of in today's transient society. The group has remained virtually unchanged in its five-plus decades since being formed, other than losing Sue Helmick to cancer in 1999.

"I was talking with my daughter and her co-workers, who are in their 20s, and they don't even have close friends from high school," Carr said. "People go to college, they move all over the country, and it's tough to stay in touch.

"We grew together instead of growing apart."

Deloris Graber of Bartonville, Eleanor Nau of Glasford and Dorothy Stuaan of Hanna City all grew up together in rural Bartonville, along with Bartell, Carr, Catterall and Van Pelt. Their social life revolved around St. John's Lutheran Church.

"We all grew up in the country and went to a country church," Graber said. "When I went to church, that's where I found my friends."

They credit Pastor Waldemar Bartell, who eventually became Nadine's father-in-law, with establishing the values the club still holds today.

All of the club's meals together are preceded by a prayer. Gossip is forbidden at meetings. Family comes first in a group that counts 22 children, 58 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

"You can see the blessings have been many," Graber said.

The group's ages range from 69 to 72. All remain married.

"On our wedding night, we had to show our marriage license at the hotel before we could get a room," Van Pelt said with a laugh. "Times have changed."

Although the group first officially met on Dec. 18, 1956, at the former Deloris Harken's home in Bartonville, they treated October's meeting as a 50th-year celebration. That's because it was the first meeting since Catterall and husband, Harold, became the last in the group to reach their 50th wedding anniversary.

"I didn't think it was all as meaningful to celebrate until we'd all made 50," said Graber, who marked the occasion by gift-wrapping gold-colored Christmas ornaments for everyone in the group.

Most meetings include door prizes, and they exchange gifts around Christmas. The club used to play games, but Helmick changed all that.

"She was very smart," Catterall said. "We'd play so-called 'smart' games and she'd win every time. So we stopped playing games."

Hosting duties revolve around the group, and meetings are held at homes or restaurants. Van Pelt makes the 420-mile drive from their home near Columbus, Ohio, with husband, Philip, twice each year.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," Van Pelt said. "I tell everybody I'm going to see my Illinois sisters. That's what we are, because we all think alike.

"I have their picture on my refrigerator. We think alike, we all have the same morals and I can count on any of them."

Van Pelt's son-in-law died unexpectedly in September, and within three days she had a sympathy card from every member of the club.

"My mother passed away and Deloris was at my door with cinnamon rolls," Stuaan said.

Bartell distinctly recalls a gut-wrenching moment from 1993.

"When my daughter died, her next birthday would have been two months later," Bartell said. "They knew that day would be really depressing for me. They all called me to go to lunch so my mind would be on something else."

Said Nau: "They're like angels. We don't see each other often, but we know they're there."

Ryan Ori can be reached at rori@pjstar.com.