Noah Blundo: Tandem toilet invention more than just functional

Here's a fun fact: 36 percent of people have gone to the bathroom in front of their spouses.

(Yes, I am writing about bathrooms yet again - I can't help it if people send this stuff to me unsolicited. Next week will be different, I promise.)

Of course, the press release I got touting that statistic does not provide a source, so I have no idea if it was from a Gallup poll or an online survey for a Cosmo article titled "Top 10 ways to get your girlfriend to dump you."

My parents have decades of marriage experience under their belts (another way of saying I can't remember when their anniversary is) so I picked up the phone to ask if they were among that supposed 36 percent - then immediately put it back down when I realized I didn't want to know the answer to that question.

However, that number wasn't the focus of the press release I got. The focus was a miraculous new bathroom invention, the conception of which surely took immeasurable amounts of time, determination and bourbon - a tandem toilet.

It's called the TwoDaLoo, which would be a terrible pun if it didn't apply to a toilet (as far as double entendres go, "The Deuce" would have been better). The dual thrones are separated by a divider, and a deluxe version has an LCD screen as well as an iPod docking station, so you can bring the noise and the funk while you're, um, bringing the noise and the funk.

The TwoDaLoo has a suggested price of $1,400 a pop - or I guess $700 a pop at full seating capacity. Also, though a wholesaler hopes soon to bring it to a Home Depot or Lowe's near you, right now it's only available in bulk orders of 12 or more. So if you have cash to burn and 23 very, very, very close friends, you're in luck.

The main point of this invention, besides promoting full employment for humorists, is to save water - one flush per two people, as it were. But apparently it also can act as an intermediary for relationship counseling.

I always had thought about toilets as a cause of marital strife, what with all the noise female types make about seats being left up, but the TwoDaLoo is billed as a solution to it.

The release quotes Romeo Mendoza, head of the wholesaler offering the TwoDaLoo, as saying, "When you're most relaxed, that's the best time for you to communicate with your partner, discuss your concerns and learn from them to grow as a couple."

In fact, the side-by-side toilets are pointed in opposite directions (you can see a picture at wiserep.com <http://wiserep.com> ) so they are well-suited to a face-to-face discussion. Or, if for some odd reason you find talking in such a situation awkward, you can just play rock-paper-scissors or have a thumb war.

Downside: The toilets are positioned so you'd have to play lefty.

E-mail Noah Blundo at noah.blundo@gmail.com