Charita Goshay: Oil companies just keep kicking this Thanksgiving
Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house will run you about $50 tomorrow -- if you're lucky.
Gas prices are reaching the point where Thanksgiving could get down to e-mailing Grandma a photo of the kids eating hot dogs made from turkey parts.
In a diabolically brilliant use of psychology, oil companies prepare us to pay higher prices by constantly feeding us speculative tidbits about the oil market, to the point where $2.50 a gallon suddenly looks like a bargain.
It's like telling someone that there's a good possibility that you're going to kick them before you actually do, so they can't say they were surprised when it happens. And of course, if you kick someone long enough, eventually they'll stop thinking of it as a "kick."
One for the books
Of all of our holidays, Thanksgiving is the most uniquely American, because it perfectly underscores who we are: A people of deep and abiding faith, not just in God, but in our own abilities and the notion that average people are perfectly capable of governing themselves.
We are the only country on the planet that has found a way to legislate an emotion, namely gratitude. George Washington issued the first Thanksgiving Proclamation in 1789. In 1863, in the throes of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln still found much for which to be thankful, and he designated Thanksgiving a national holiday. He wrote in part:
"In the midst of civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict ... No human counsel that devised or nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are gracious gifts of the Most High God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy ..."
Holi-daze
But because schools are under so much pressure to teach to the proficiency test, teachers often don't have the luxury of time that such history requires. So don't be surprised if one of the kids at your table offers the following observations:
- The first Thanksgiving dinner was held at the Alamo. They ate out on the patio because it was nice that day. Pocahontas made turkey wraps and Tater Tots for her boyfriend, Capt. John Wayne, and his best friend, Davey Crockett.
- Pocahontas' dad, Tonto, bought the turkey from Pepperidge Farm.
- Other people at the first Thanksgiving included Jesus, Carmen San Diego, and her sisters, Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria.
- The Thanksgiving parade float was invented by Benjamin Franklin, who worked at Macy's.
- A turkey pardoned last week by President Bush was shot by Vice President Darth Cheney, who was aiming at a lawyer, but missed.
Reach Canton Repository writer Charita Goshay at (330) 580-8313 or e-mail: charita.goshay@cantonrep.com