Table Manners 101: In time for Thanksgiving

Imagine gathering with your extended family for Thanksgiving dinner and watching your 6-year-old place a napkin in his lap and ask his grandmother to "Please pass the mashed potatoes." Start now with a little bit of training and some fun games and you and your guests will be giving thanks for such well-mannered children.

Master the basics

Understanding a formal table setting with multiple plates and three different types of forks may be a bit much to ask any child. But one who is old enough to sit at a table with adults should know how to hold a fork and place a napkin on their lap.

Aside from correct utensil usage, another giant hurdle many parents face is actually keeping a <span style="color: black;">child at the table after they're done eating. "So few families have dinner at a table together that children don't want to sit still," says Jodi Smith, founder of Mannersmith, an etiquette consulting firm that creates and delivers seminars to clients ranging from children to CEOs, based in</span> Marblehead. "You can start to build up their endurance now by engaging in table talk and having them answer questions that require more than a yes or a no." Smith says that for a 3-year-old, seven extra minutes at the table may be congratulations-worthy, while for a 10-year-old, 30 minutes is a better target.

Plan in advance

On the ride to your Thanksgiving dinner destination, or prior to guests arriving at your own home, discuss some of the day's planned activities:

Remind your child to kiss Grandma on the cheek, to chew with their mouths shut or to sit at the table until they are excused, and let them know that they will get to watch a special movie (or other treat) if they're good.

If your hostess expects you at 2 p.m. but dinner won't be until 6 p.m., plan to feed your children on the way so they don't get hungry and cranky.

If you suspect one of your children might not make it pleasantly through the entire meal, consider taking two cars so you or your partner can take the tired child home. "Think about what best serves you and your child," says Smith. "But also think about what you can do to minimize everyone's discomfort if your child has a meltdown."

A few holiday pointers: