All Things Rad: In case of fire, this ad won't help you

Here's a pop quiz: How do you identify a burning building?

Is it A) 6437 First St.; B) The house with the picket fence on the corner; or C) The one that's on fire, you idiot.

If you answered A or B, then you know something we all don't. If you answered D, then God help you.

The correct answer is, of course, C, the method firefighters have been using since man discovered fire and, shortly afterward, left the house with his wife, who didn't unplug the curling iron.

Which brings me to my bonehead ad of the week.

This ad I saw at a movie theater recently undermines its otherwise important message. It's for emergency addresses that clearly mark where you live so rescue workers can identify your home quickly and save your life.

It's a fantastic concept. Rescue workers won't circle the block and lose precious seconds that could save someone's life. It's especially important with emergencies like a heart attack, stroke or the presence of Britney Spears near your children.

But this ad was highlighted by a picture of a house completely engulfed in flames. The address of a house on fire is about as pointless as marking street signs in Braille. I suggest putting out any house that is on fire, no matter the address.

Firefighter one: There it is, completely covered with fire!

Firefighter two: I don't know, that says 6762; we're looking for 6764.

Firefighter one: Well, 6764 is right there, and it's not on fire at all.

Firefighter two: Then our work here is done.

Clearly marking your address is important, though it probably won't be necessary for large fires. So the moral here is, if you or a loved one has a medical emergency and your address is not clearly marked, then just set fire to your house.

Staff writer Kevin Haas does not endorse arson. Contact him at 815-544-3452 or khaas@rrstar.com.