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Movie review: ‘Wiener-Dog' puts a long dog on a long road

Let's get right to the elephant in the room. About two years ago, I promised that I would no longer be watching/reviewing movies with Greta Gerwig in them because she gives me a rash.

But even Gerwig's one-note performances couldn't keep me away from a new Todd Solondz film, Solondz being the oddball writer-director who's given us, among other disturbing but darkly funny movies, "Welcome to the Dollhouse," "Happiness," and "Life During Wartime."

Now let's get to the dog in the room. Wiener-Dog is the not necessarily derogatory nickname for the cute, little, long brown pooch known as the dachshund. Solondz has fashioned an episodic film about one of them who, though sweet and gentle, has trouble finding a permanent home.

The film follows her, dealing with different owners, through five chapters.

The first, and briefest story, shows her, as a pup, being dropped off at a shelter by a farmer who obviously didn't want her, and presents her first disconcerting dilemma — what to do about being stuck in a small cage, with the sounds of other dogs yapping all around her. But all is soon OK when Danny (Tracy Letts) adopts her and brings her home for his ailing and inquisitive son Remi (Keaton Nigel Cooke). But Danny's wife Dina (Julie Delpy) is less than thrilled about this new housemate, who Remi immediately names "Wiener-Dog." Mom already has enough on her mind with Remi's hospital tests and endless questions about life and the universe, etc.

Things don't go well there, and an after some dietary misfortune, resulting in Wiener-Dog being dropped off at a vet's office to be put down. But the vet's assistant, Dawn Wiener (Gerwig, who's really good here) steals the dog, brings her home, nurses her back to health, and renames her Doody … after Howdy Doody.

Solondz fans will take note of that character's name. Dawn Wiener, as played by Heather Matarazzo, was the nerdy teen protagonist in "Welcome to the Dollhouse." Solondz's later film "Palindromes" began with Dawn's funeral. But, hey, this is all fiction. Solondz wanted to, could, and did bring her back here as an adult. He also brought back the character of her "Dollhouse" tormentor Brandon (now played by Kieran Culkin) and they, along with Doody, go on a road trip to visit Brandon's brother and wife, Tommy and April, both of whom have Down syndrome, and share challenging lives, but get by. And they connect with the dog, resulting in Dawn giving her to them before taking off with Brandon.

It's all short, vaguely interconnected stories, that could smoothly go on and on but for the fact that Solondz cuts the film in half with an actual intermission, featuring Wiener-Dog (or whatever her name is at that point) on a purposely cheesy, highly stylized "walking trip" across the country with "The Ballad of Wiener-Dog" playing upfront (Johnny Cash will come to the minds of certain viewers).

It becomes clear that this isn't a movie about the dog, but about the people around her, whose lives she comes in and out of, and affects. Soon, in a slightly disguised autobiographical sequence, she's with deeply depressed, down-on-his-luck Dave Schmerz (Danny DeVito), a failed screenwriter who resorts to teaching screenwriter for a living. Later, after an act of desperation parts her from Dave, she's with a cranky but well-to-do woman we only know as Grandma (Ellen Burstyn), who has named her Cancer, for reasons that are never explained, nor need they be.

The dog becomes witness to a rare visit from her new owner's granddaughter Zoe (Zosia Mamet) and her probably philandering artist boyfriend Fantasy (Michael James Shaw), who needs $10,000 for his newest project.

And so the movie goes, culminating in a haunting, creepy vision of what Grandma could (should?) have done with her life, and ending with a plot turn that will upset dog lovers everywhere (either that or it'll make them laugh uneasily), then ending yet again with a twist that should make everyone feel better (or more upset). Heck, this is a Todd Solondz film. Some people are going to love it AND hate it.

— Ed Symkus covers movies for More Content Now.

"Wiener-Dog"

Written and directed by Todd Solondz

With Greta Gerwig, Kieran Culkin, Danny DeVito, Ellen Burstyn

Rated R