The Daily Register - Harrisburg, IL
Tracy Beckerman is Lost in Suburbia and trying to hold onto just a little bit of her former, COOL, pre-mom self!
All Lined Up and Nowhere to Go
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About this blog
Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is \x34Lost in Suburbia\x34 ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a \x34momoir,\x34 will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, ...
Family Humor
Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is Lost in Suburbia ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a momoir, will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, including www.todaysmama.com, www.rolemommy.com and www.newjerseymomsblog.com and is an official blogger for Lifetime Television's hit show, The Balancing Act. She also does stand-up comedy and has appeared at venues including The Comic Strip Live in NYC and The Erma Bombeck Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. Before she became a columnist, Beckerman was a writer and producer in the television industry for 10 years, managing the advertising & promotion department at WCBS-TV New York. Tracy is married to a very understanding guy. They have two children and live in New Jersey where she writes, does battle with woodchucks and avoids, at all costs, driving a minivan.
Recent Posts
By lostinsuburbiablog
March 3, 2013 11:05 a.m.

Waiting in Line
It was one of those days where everything was taking a ridiculously long time. There was a line at the drycleaners. A line at the supermarket. A line at the gas station. I was starting to think that everyone in the world had the same to-do list that I did; they were just one to-do ahead of me the whole day.
I finally made it to the last place on my list. I needed to pick up a couple of things at Old Navy. As I walked in, I was thrilled to see that for the first time all day, I was in a store that was mostly empty. I found what I needed in about five minutes flat, then I headed toward the checkout counter.
I was surprised to see that there were a couple of people waiting on line to check out, because there didn’t really seem to be that many people in the store. But since the whole day had been one long waiting game, I figured this was just par for the course. As I got in line behind two ladies with a child, I started checking messages on my cell phone to pass the time.
After awhile, I realized I had been waiting on the line for an unusually long time. I am typically not the most patient person, but this was excessive even by a normal patient person’s standards. Looking at my watch, I realized ten minutes had passed since I’d gotten on line. I peered around the people ahead of me and noticed that some other customers were finishing at the cash registers but for some reason, the line I was on did not seem to be moving. I started tapping my foot and making huffy noises. Then I looked around for a store employee to complain to.
Just when I thought my head would explode, I saw someone and waved her over.
“Are you waiting to check out?” she asked me cheerily.
“Yes!” I shouted in frustration.
“Well, the checkout line is over there,” she said gesturing to another line I hadn’t noticed directly behind the checkout counter. “YOU are standing on line behind mannequins”
“Huh?” I said. At first I didn’t quite understand what she was saying. But then I looked closely at the heads of the two ladies and the child standing in front of me and slowly realized their hair was made of plastic. My line wasn’t moving because I wasn’t ON a line. I was standing behind a clothing display next to the checkout area.
I walked around the mannequins and looked them up and down, just to convince myself that I really was that stupid.
“Oh boy. I am such an idiot,” I moaned to the store employee.
“It’s OK,” she laughed. “This actually happens a lot.”
“Really?” I said with some annoyance. “Then why don’t you move the mannequins further away from the checkout area?”
She grinned. “Because it’s really funny.”
©2013, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
FINAL Book Cover copyMy new book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir. How I Got Pregnant. Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” is now available for PRE-ORDER! To order yours, CLICK HERE>
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