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Rumble Gets Rocked
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Jan. 28, 2013 11:17 a.m.

The Rock is Mania bound
Royal Rumble 2013
Photo courtesy: WWE
By Chad Smart
@chadsmart & @my123cents on Twitter
The 2013 Royal Rumble is in
the books. Heads up, this blog is going to be full of anger, snark and
stereotypical Internet wrestling fan rage. If you’ve been reading my123cents
for the at least two weeks or listened to last week’s From the Rafter’s radio
show then you know everything we didn’t want to see happen at the Royal Rumble
happened. Before I get into the complaining let me get the positives out of the
way. <>
For the most part there
wasn’t anything bad on the show from a pure wrestling standpoint. All the
matches were laid out well and the in-ring action was perfectly acceptable. If
I weren’t one to think about the outcomes and how it plays into a bigger
picture, I wouldn’t have any issues with the show. So at least there’s that.
Add in some genuine surprises into the Royal Rumble match (Chris Jericho,
Godfather) and I would definitely think the show was worth the $15 I spent on
food at Buffalo Wild Wings while watching the show. Unfortunately I look at the
bigger picture and that picture resembles that refurbished picture of Jesus the
old lady tried to touch up.
Last Man Standing
Del Rio retains
Photo courtesy: WWE
I don’t get why Big Show and
Alberto Del Rio had another Last Man Standing match instead of a different
gimmick, or straight up match. The match was perfectly fine as long as you
overlook the logical gap of every Big Show match in which you wonder why he
doesn’t punch his opponents in the face right from the beginning. While the
match was fine, I didn’t like the ending. Ricardo Rodriguez duct tapes Big
Show’s feet to the bottom rope preventing Show from getting back to his feet
before the 10 count is administered. Yes, Big Show didn’t get back to his feet,
however he was clearly trying to get up. To me the referee should have realized
there was no way for Big Show to stand while his feet were taped and thus
remove the tape before making a 10 count. Guessing we’ll get a rematch on RAW
or Smackdown and then Big Show will be one of the competitors in the
Elimination Chamber match at the next pay per view. <>
I was surprised to see Team
Hell No defeat Team Rhodes Scholars. I don’t know where Kane and Daniel Bryan
go from here. The Primetime Players have fallen down to non-serious contenders.
The Usos and Primo/Epico haven’t been presented as potential contenders for the
past couple of months. Hunico and Camacho’s bicycle must have gotten a flat tire,
as they haven’t been seen in some time. Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara returned
during the Royal Rumble but if the rumors of the two of them squaring off at
Wrestlemania are true, then there’s really no reason for them to get a
tag-title shot. Maybe Hell No will renew their feud with the Shield. Or maybe
we’ll get more Dr. Shelby and wacky skits and hope fans don’t realize the tag
titles aren’t being defended. <>
Y2J Returns
Royal Rumble 2013
Photo courtesy: WWE
The Royal Rumble match was
well laid out. As mentioned before, the return of Chris Jericho was a surprise
and actually played into a storyline from more than a month ago. I don’t know
if Y2J is back or if this was just a one-time event. I hope he’s not back just
through Wrestlemania as I don’t like part-time guys taking Wrestlemania slots. <>
The return of Goldust was a
nice surprise and I would really like to see a Goldust vs. Cody Rhodes match at
Wrestlemania. Maybe throw in Dusty Rhodes as special guest referee. For the second year in a row, Kofi
Kingston wins the award for most creative way to avoid elimination. <>
Cena wins
Royal Rumble 2013
Photo courtesy: WWE
As exciting as the Royal
Rumble match was, the ending killed not only the match but was the first step
in making me dislike the show as a whole. John Cena winning his second Rumble
foreshadowed a Rock victory and made me not interested in Wrestlemania 29. Cena
is the holder of the “Being John Cena” title, which allows him a title match
whenever he wants one. Instead of having Cena win, whoever is going to
challenge for the World title should have won the Rumble. Though I suspect that
Cena winning the guaranteed title shot at Wrestlemania is a way for WWE to
claim last year’s promotion of Rock/Cena as “once in a lifetime” wasn’t a lie.
“Cena just happened to win a title show and Rock is champion, it’s not like we
set up that way.” <>
During the Punk Rock match,
I thought they might have Punk retain the title because a Rock victory seemed
too obvious. If Punk retained, Rock could still win the title at Elimination
Chamber and go on to face Cena at Wrestlemania. Because I had this thought,
when Punk pinned Rock, I wasn’t too shocked. However my spirits were deflated
and every bad thought I had came to a head once Vince McMahon came out to
address CM Punk. <>
Punk wins...for a minute
Royal Rumble 2013
Photo courtesy: WWE
Due to the lights going out
during the match and Rock apparently being attacked, I think maybe he just
slipped, Vince claimed The Shield had helped CM Punk and pre-match stipulation
declared if this happened Punk would be stripped of the title. The Rock grabbed
a mic and said they weren’t going to end that way and demanded the match be
restarted. One People’s Elbow later, the Rock ended CM Punk’s 400-day title
reign. <>
This ending was pure dreck
on many levels. First off, Vince
had no proof the Shield interfered. Who’s to say Rock didn’t arrange for the
lights to be turned off so he could get Punk stripped of the title? Rock
beating Punk with one of the weakest wrestling moves in the history of
wrestling was also frustrating. Here’s a guy who has been champion for over 400
days, has defeated some of the best wrestlers on the roster and he gets beat
after a movie star who’s wrestled two matches in ten years hits him with an
elbow drop. Could they have made Punk’s title reign look any more pointless? <>
Now unless there’s some
major shake up at Elimination Chamber, The Rock will defend the WWE title at
Wrestlemania against John Cena. I have not heard one person who has said they
want to see this rematch. Had I taken a survey at Buffalo Wild Wings, I may
have gotten a handful of people who were excited for the match. In my opinion,
Rock/Cena was the laziest booking decision that could have been made. <>
Seventy days until
Wrestlemania and I have very little interest in the show. WWE really needs to
build a strong undercard to make Wrestlemania 29 not be the weakest show on a
weekend full of shows. Right now, I don’t have high hopes. <>

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